Tendher
A 3-month journey bringing creative sanctuary to the stress of caregiving
October - December
2023
Creativity: An antidote for an exhausted body, overdrawn heart & anxious mind.
Writing and other creative practices can help us soothe and soften the heart and care for the parts of us that get neglected or ignored.
Immersed in the magic of the creative process, we are invited to let go for a while, to explore and connect with the wonder and beauty of existence.
As caregivers, we need space to just be, to express emotions we may not have an outlet for.
We also need a community to hold us as we learn to pause, and give ourselves time-out to play and rejuvenate.
We have this idea of what self-care looks like.
Caregiving is relentless.
It’s what makes it so hard, but we are not allowed to name it as such.
We feel guilty if we crave some self-attention, joy or escape from the seriousness.
Like we are doing something wrong, shirking our duties, being a rebel and going against how patriarchal culture says women are meant to be.
We are in the ocean and getting battered by the waves. It can feel like we are barely keeping our head above water.
Staying calm & buoyant requires ongoing moments of pause, rest and self-care.
We can’t take away the relentlessness, but we can offer a circle of support to nurture & cultivate this buoyancy.
We can learn to find moments of artful retreat for 15 or 30 minutes to recharge our energy and resource ourselves.
Moments in the midst of this relentlessness where we are doing something just for us.
When was the last time you gave yourself some space to pause, relax and play?
Tendher is:
A nourishing and empowering space for caregivers to learn to tend to their own self-care using writing and other creative and meditative practices.
A warm, healing space to listen closely to our own hearts, minds and bodies.
A nonjudgemental space to explore the healing & therapeutic benefits of meditation & the expressive arts including movement, song, storytelling and visual art-making.
An online space that will help you weave moments of self-kindness, nurturing and replenishment into your every day.
A little bit about me, Ahava Shira
In the spring of 2020 my world was torn apart.
Forced to step into more responsibility when my husband of 22 years was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, I found myself resisting, feeling angry, frustrated, overwhelmed and trapped.
As a writer and artist, I had used my creativity in the past to deal with other daunting life challenges.
Determined to hold and carry myself through the difficulty, and into beauty, I turned to words, dance, song and visual art, to express the feelings of isolation, despair and pressure. I made collages and films of me dancing and sharing the concerns about lack of intimacy and sexual connection. I also wrote poems and stories, and began chronicling the journey in a new memoir. I also deepened into my meditation practice.
Using art and meditation practices to accompany myself through the journey, I reaffirmed my power to tend, to care for myself as I was caring for my husband. I also realized that, as I was tending myself and my husband, my creativity, spirituality, and the human and earth communities were tending me.
Join us for
Tendher
A 3-month journey bringing creative sanctuary to the stress of caregiving
I highly recommend giving yourself the gift of Tendher.
Being with Ahava has allowed me breathing room just to be and to accept and find joy and peace. I have learned some simple ways to lift myself up in trying moments and have created from my soul during the time between sessions.
Ahava has fully and gently supported me in having self-care time, remembering that creativity and kindness to myself matter. I feel her care and love.
Tendher helps me care for and love myself.
– Julie Fraser
Introducing the 5 Archetypes of
TENDher :
Child
She needs to be embraced, snuggled and cuddled.
She wants to play, to read and be read to, to sing and be sung to.
Lover
She needs to feel admired, appreciated and desired.
She craves intimacy and sensual pleasure with self, another or nature.
Muse
She seeks expression, to create beauty
in words, dance, visual art, music…
She enjoys colour, texture, form and composition,
Mystic
She desires an experience of transcendence.
She meditates to quieten the mind and nourish the body, heart and soul.
Mourner
She needs time to cry, weep, sob, to grieve her losses without fixing or analyzing.
She expresses sorrow and encounters its twin, joy.
These are parts of us that long for
recognition, acceptance and expression.
Here is how we will
TENDher,
together:
Creativity:
We’ll invite in curiosity, play and permission to try new things, and tell new stories about who we are as caregivers.
We’ll experiment with a variety of media and explore themes that help us to reconnect with ourselves and bring joy, wonder & beauty into our days.
Compassion:
We’ll make time for caring for ourselves, our bodies, our hearts, our minds and our souls.
We’ll appreciate all we do by reflecting on our experiences and giving voice and meaning to our feelings and needs which live in the body and need time and safety to be seen an shared.
Community:
We’ll create a space where we can be honest and authentic, where we will be accepted as we are.
Our community will be a place where we can speak candidly, get support for coping with the challenges and build our resilience through the friendly connection with other caregivers.
Ahava, you have a kind, gentle, patient energy about you which allows space to be creative and messy without judgement. It was lovely to connect with myself and the other beautiful women in this course to share our writing and our stories.
I found it very supportive and healing.
– Donna Shea
Here’s how Tendher will unfold
October – December
2023
we’ll gather for a session each week for 12 weeks
Each month you will be invited to:
-
Two 90-minute “Creative Calls” where we will explore personal and interpersonal themes in nourishing, playful and empowering ways including journal writing, poetry, movement & visual art-making (pastels, pencils, crayons, multi-media collage). Each week I will introduce a different practice to plant seeds of joy, wonder, play and creativity. On these calls, we’ll practice this creative form together, and have an opportunity to spend some time writing, and sharing about what arises.
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Two 60-minute “Sanctuary Calls” where we will create a brave space of warmth, kindness and serenity so that you can feel deeply, speak honestly, and express truthfully the stress and challenge of caregiving, On these calls, I’ll create a safe space where you will feel held, nourished, supported, and cared for.
In between you will receive:
- A weekly “Love Me Tender Note” with a poem and image of artful inspiration to remind you to TEND your own body, heart, mind and the creative soul in you.
Throughout our time together, you’ll also receive:
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Invitations to pause, reflect, open, listen inwardly and dwell in your intuition.
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Guided meditations to calm the mind, soothe the nervous system, relax and settle into your body.
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Companionship through compassionate witnessing in a circle of confidentiality, trust and intimacy.
My hope is that by giving yourself an hour or two a week of lightness, joy and release, you will return to the tasks of caregiving refreshed, with a variety of creative self-care practices you can turn to when you need some moments of artful reprieve in the midst of caregiving.
CALL SCHEDULE:
these are 60 or 90 minute calls
Creative Calls
Mondays @ 4-5:30pm PT/7-8:30pm ET
Sanctuary Calls
Wednesdays @ 9am PT/12pm-1pm ET
I understand that as a caregiver you are really busy, and I don’t want to overwhelm you. If you can’t make all the calls, that’s okay. This is meant to be a support to you.
Creative Calls will be recorded. Sanctuary Calls won’t.
Your investment
I am offering TENDher
on a tiered system as part of my commitment to financial accessibility and equity.
This pricing system allows each person to consider their financial access when joining, making way for those who may need extra support. Please consider that the options below are about financial access, rather than emotions around money. I also offer payment plans for each pricing tier.
$1260
– Supporter –
OR Three monthly payments of $420
This is the “pay it forward” option, where the extra money you pay helps to support those caregivers who otherwise would not be able to join us because of lack of resources. You spend little time worrying about securing necessities in your life.
$1050
– Full Price –
OR Three monthly payments of $350
This is the actual cost of TEND HER, and is joyfully offered to those who can comfortably meet all their basic needs and who have expendable income to regularly purchase things like books, fancy coffee drinks, and online subscriptions, etc.
$855
– Reduced –
OR Three monthly payments of $285
This price is joyfully offered to those who rent and don’t own their home, have no access to savings, have limited expendable income, and cannot afford a vacation or take time off without financial burden.
If you don’t have the financial means to pay for this, you could find some source to help you cover the costs. A lot of people might want to help but not know how. This would be a great way to ask them and give them a way to support you.
If you would like to request help from someone you know, ask me about a sample email to send.
Join us for
Tendher
A 3-month journey bringing creative sanctuary to the stress of caregiving
Feeling unsure if you are a “caregiver”?
Here is what I mean when I use that language:
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You are currently taking care of a spouse, child, parent or someone who requires your physical, emotional, and/or financial labour and support to manage their lives. This may be in person or through phone, facetime, text or zoom. This may be visiting someone regularly or once a season or year.
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Your attention is drawn to worry, fear, anxiety about their well-being.
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You are the go-to person for their care or a back-up but you are still in the loop.
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Your relationship with them has changed and you are missing your contact, touch, intimacy but are afraid to speak about it because you don’t want them to feel bad.
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You feel tired, drained, despairing, frustrated, angry or a combination of these emotions some or all of the time.
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You work in a profession where you are a support for others who rely on you for their emotional, psychological, mental health well-being.
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You aren’t sure whether what you do for others is considered caregiving but you are having difficulty keeping up your own mental health or physical wellness due to being there for others in some way.
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You feel like you have been losing parts of yourself because you haven’t had the time or space to give them attention in your busy schedule of caring for others. You feel there is something missing but you aren’t able to articulate it.
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You wonder if it’s normal to feel angry, despair, frustration, and/or grief if your spouse, parent or another loved one are still alive but they have changed and your relationship with them has changed.
TENDher is for caregivers who:
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want to face the anxiety, dread and uncertainty of their situation with creative openness and compassionate curiosity.
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yearn to reclaim parts of themselves which have been lost or neglected through caregiving.
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desire to transform the belief that caregiving is a lonely and isolating experience and to create community to support each other.
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sense that there is spiritual learning here and want to understand and practice a more wholistic awareness of caregiving.
Join us for
Tendher
A 3-month journey bringing creative sanctuary to the stress of caregiving
I learned that I can process hard things through writing about them.
I value listening to others’ writing. I find others’ work very inspiring. I want to try writing more regularly i.e. cultivate a regular writing practice.
I can do this!