As I was poring through some old journals recently, I stumbled upon this entry from journal #16.
October 21, 1992
Such a hesitancy to start again. How long has it actually been since I’ve been here. It seems like forever. How quickly I forget the path, when I stray from its marked way. So here I am, back again, and I am so excited….
Why has it been so hard to return? Why the procrastination, the lack of will? I didn’t want to need it. I wanted to be free. Of what? Of the need to write it all down, to distance myself, to see it in front of me, instead of feel it so intensely all the time. I wanted to become a “real” writer, to be able to write about current events, traveling, poetry. Alas it’s the journal wins out!
But I have been longing for it too, aching for the support of my own words, my truth, for the time to myself, the silent hour when nothing matters but the workings of my inner self. How indulgent it is, and yet I’ve tried all else to no avail. It is this which fuels me, feeds me, fulfills my need for self-understanding, serenity.
I wrote those words within a month of arriving out west 21 years ago. One thing drawing me out here was a Vancouver conference called West Coast Women & Words for which I had applied while still in Montreal. I remember giving my mother some writings to type up from journals that I had kept while studying in Bali the spring before.
While I didn’t get accepted to the conference, I came out west anyway. Thankfully. Here is where my writing was able to take flight. Here is where the prose in my journals began to soar into poetry, swoop into spoken performance and steady into healing love for myself and others. Here is where I began to listen to the lilting songs of my body, the lofty odes of my heart and the lyric rhythms of my dreams.
If you would like to learn to listen and love the words right out of you, I invite you to join me for a transformational journey through the Gates of Loving Inquiry. Explore your voice and discover what stories are in need of telling. Give yourself the gift of stillness, self-expression and artistic attention.
If you would like to learn more about working with me, contact me here. A journey of so many words begins with a single YES!